Thursday 13 August 2015

Felines & Firemen

Firetruck



I remember hearing some strange stories about firemen but recollections were vague so I did a little research ........emphasis on 'a little'. A story I heard of was of a Fire Station burning down. There has been a surprising number. I dismissed the ones relating to arson because the firemen couldn't be responsible in any way. No good, only hopeless cases are allowed.....

We have to look to Germany of all places for supreme incompetence in the fire department (assume all puns are intended unless otherwise stated). This particular fire station (crew?) had history. The Syke Fire station in North Germany had burnt down in 1994 losing all six of its fire engines.

On January 11th 2009 the firemen of Syke had a training exercise. The station burnt to the ground a second time and fire-fighters from neighbouring cities were called in. It took nearly 250 firemen to extinguish the blaze, so large had it become. Due to the quick response of other fire stations only the vehicle bay and all of the fire fighting equipment was destroyed. The kitchen, offices, and lounges were saved.
"A fire service that can't even keep its own fire station and engines safe doesn't exactly inspire confidence" said one local.


The Lion King
One of my favourite stories comes from Italy and involves a lion. This story gives a whole new slant on lions and Christians in Italy. Lions are deemed the kings of the jungle but there was nothing regal about our lion. In 1970 a lion escaped from a circus in Italy. Inevitably the lion found a little boy and gave chase. Nothing wrong so far. The problem for our lion however was that the little boy's mother was on hand and attacked the unfortunate beast, badly mauling it in the process. The lion received severe head and skin injuries, and had to have treatment for shock!

So what is the connection between felines and firemen, I hear you ask.....

I remember as a kid we had three tv channels. One was ITV and they had their own news slot. ITN in their infinite wisdom decided at the end of every news broadcast they would use a little humour. They called this 'and finally....' Unfortunately some Brits lack a certain amount of humour when it comes to poor dumb animals.

My favourite 'and finally......' was perhaps the most least popular judging by the number of complaints received afterwards. Now, am I being cruel or was this genuinely funny?

During the firemen's strike of 1978 the British Army took over firefighting responsibilities. The bright red fire-trucks were replaced by the 'Green Goddesses' of the military. One of the first calls they received was on 14th January from an elderly lady whose cat was stuck up a tree.

The troops arrived in impressive time and effected the rescue without a problem. So impressed was the lady she made them all tea and biscuits. Fond farewells were bade and the Green Goddess promptly pulled away running over the cat and killing it.

Thursday 23 July 2015

Stresses and Strains

The sky darkened overhead as the last traces of twilight scurried over the horizon. I sat in calm serenity gazing up into the endless infinity of space. A scattering of stars shone like quicksilver on a black velvet cushion. The crescent moon smiled at me, intensifying the feeling of a celestial benevolence. 

Somewhere in the distance the hoot of an owl disturbed the silent tranquillity.
'Concentrate!' I admonished for allowing myself to become distracted.


I strained hard, but to no avail.

Mother Nature would not be hurried by a mere mortal. As beads of sweat rolled down my forehead from sheer exertion, swift cumulonimbus clouds gathered overhead, devouring the starlight hungrily. The cheerful smile of the crescent Moon appeared more a grimace as it too became obscured by the ominous clouds.

The sky was illuminated with forked lightning and the accompanying clap of thunder gave me a start. Then a lesser but remarkably similar sound reverberated around the confined space. This sound was music to my ears, but quickly forgotten as the foul stench permeated the air and wafted uninvited up into my nostrils.

The relief at the sudden release of pressure was short lived as the sudden torrential downpour beat down on me. I looked towards the Heavens again, rain hitting my face almost painfully. I shook my head and made a mental note.
'I really must fix the roof on this outhouse'