Fix You

Since my diagnosis I have researched autism because my only 'knowledge' of autism came from two films, Rain Man (1988) and Mercury Rising (1998). Although the films did give an insight into some of the difficulties of those with autism, it was just a keyhole view. My doubts about my own autism stem from the fact I found out autism is genetic, meaning someone in my family had it before me. Then I realised it is actually quite possible.

My mother had some 'eccentric' ways. She told me quite openly that as a baby I rarely cried and it must have felt to her like she was missing out on nurturing. Consequently she used to pinch me to make me cry, just so she could nurse and soothe me (small wonder I'm so bloody confused). Her father, my grandfather, spent his last years in an asylum but it was generally attributed to his experiences as a POW during WWII. These peculiarities might indicate a genetic anomaly but nothing is concrete.

When I was a kid conditions like ADHD, ADD, Asperger's and indeed ASD and TBI were unknown. PTSD was simply known as 'shell-shock' (or cowardice if you went back even further). Nowadays it seems that every man and his dog has some kind of disorder. Back in the day our parents tried to beat the behavioural problems out of us, thankfully those days are long gone but I do wonder if we have gone from one extreme to the other.

It would be wrong to blame the health service, education or even parents for failing my ilk because of the lack of knowledge on such things and kids of my time were 'to be seen and not heard'. We were simply not allowed to be weak or complain. When I left school I stopped going to see specialists whom I felt did nothing. I was only seeing an Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist who was more concerned with my headaches, tinnitus and impaired hearing than any behavioural problems.

As a result I slipped through the net simply because I refused to accept I was damaged. My childhood was spent in self-inflicted isolation due to an inability to express my feelings in a manner others didn't find strange. The few friends I had called me crazy and I thought they were joking although I knew I was 'eccentric' and my thought process was different to theirs, but I didn't feel crazy. I tried ti hide my condition in a futile attempt to 'fit in' and became quite good at it. Most people I met never knew about the problems I faced on a daily basis.

However with my advancing years and David Cameron lying through his teeth about the government addressing mental health issues, I believed it was time to do things properly. There was a huge campaign to remove the stigma associated with such conditions but it didn't work. In my experience, coming out about my condition was the worst thing. I hadn't slept properly for decades unless in a stupour and thought somewhat foolishly I could be cured of the headaches, the tinnitus, the nightmares and ultimately the loneliness.

The movies I mentioned above did little to indicate how an autistic person thought or felt. In my ignorance I was left with the impression the characters were damaged individuals with little coherent thought - and some quite extraordinary abilities. This is simply not true. I drew comparisons with my own condition and began to understand, and it made me wonder if others were as ignorant as me.

I now see autism as a kind of protective shell and inside is a person with feelings and emotions just the same as anyone else. Because they cannot communicate properly doesn't mean they cannot think or that they lack awareness. I really do not know enough to be able to comment with authority on the matter, I'm simply giving my experience of the disorder. 

More needs to be done to raise awareness about Autism and the other conditions mentioned here. People need to be educated and the government needs to fulfil its promises. Maybe then humanity can regain a little compassion and we can move forward as a species.

Visceral Pragmatism

On the face of it 'visceral pragmatism' would appear to be an oxymoron but what is pragmatism? My idea of pragmatism was simply the use of logic to make a decision or a statement without emotion to cloud judgement. Although pragmatic by nature I found this to be very short-sighted.

On reflection it was a legacy from my father, he was the most logical and on the surface, emotionless, person I ever knew even to this day. However pragmatism is flawed and I certainly do not fit in with your stereotypical pragmatist. My problem is with how some cite pragmatism as mitigation, a means to an end, when doing bad things. Schopenhauer perhaps laid the foundation for the negative connotation surrounding pragmatism. He hypothesised about a biological idealism in which he states 'what is useful to an organism to believe, might differ wildly from what is true'.

Pragmatism developed in the late 19th century but even then the flaws were apparent. Charles Sanders Pierce, in an attempt to distance himself from those using pragmatism to further their own ends, invented the word pragmaticism. Unfortunately his 'pragmaticism' adhered strictly to logic and statistical analysis. This, like other forms of stereotyping may work for the majority of cases, but it is hardly one size fits all. It may prove to be right more often than wrong, but is that enough?

To accept it as such, countermands the principles of pragmatism. If all the factors are not considered when making a decision, how can it be termed pragmatic. Science is flawed due to our inadequacies in comprehending that which cannot explained by our current knowledge of physics. It is like looking through a keyhole, you may get a good idea of what lies beyond the door but haven't the full picture.

 On that basis I coined my own phrase with 'visceral pragmatism'.

Political pragmatism is a different animal and a very dangerous one. Advocates of Schopenhauer (Nietzsche, Freud, Tolstoy, Wagner, to name but a few), felt it would be counter-productive allowing overt public scrutiny on certain matters. I do understand how problematical blanket transparency can be. The issue I have is who makes the decisions on what exactly can be divulged to Joe Public. It all smacks of control and manipulation. "It's for your own good" simply doesn't wash. I might not be a genius but from what I've seen and heard over the years, neither are politicians. This is very often where pragmatism gives way to a sinister personal agenda.

Talking of which, we arrive at the philosophical definition of pragmatism, one that is quietly swept under the religious carpet. If we take this third definition literally it would be necessary, on current and historical evidence, to ban religion. Even accepting the existence of some supreme being, it is obvious he no longer keeps in touch (if he ever did), and hasn't done for more than 1,000 years, suggesting he doesn't really give a toss about us or this planet.

Initially my thoughts were against banning religion, I regarded it as a necessary evil. Being brought up Catholic, I do have an inside view on how it works. This outdated method of control, should really have been laid to rest with the introduction of judicial systems, but outside of a democracy, legal systems are largely ineffective and open to abuse. I found as a child religion moderated our behaviour, this was a good thing. We knew nothing of the adult world but hell and damnation was a real threat in our imaginative childhood. Of course we grew up and knew it was just one of many foreboding lies parents tell their children to make them behave.

Another thing I considered beneficial, was for groups of people to congregate and generate positivity. I believe positive energy is a by-product of such gatherings and to be lauded, albeit for a different reason than perceived by those gathered. Things have changed now though. Religion is frequently used to generate negative energy, by preaching hate and intolerance. For that reason I have revised my opinion and would be in favour of a 'keep your beliefs to yourself' type ban.

To take philosophical pragmatism to the next level, the logical solution to world problems would be a thermo-nuclear war. It would probably wipe out around 80% of the world population but philosophical pragmatists / religious extremists / power-hungry megalomaniacs would have no problem with this. The planet wouldn't be over-populated and the survivors could start again with a clean slate. The ends justify the means. No, they don't!

To sum up, many times I have written about personal life (and death) experiences. As quite a sceptical person, I would be loathe to believe these accounts had I not experienced them myself. There is no doubt in my mind science is still in its infancy, how often in the past has the 'impossible' suddenly become not only possible but commonplace. For this reason I am reluctant to dismiss anything out of hand. It is where pragmatism and I begin to part company.

This is why I came up with the concept of 'visceral pragmatism', drawing a conclusion based as much on strong instinctual feelings as on verifiable fact or logic. Some things in life defy logic. It also works on the premise 'the ends do not justify the means' because nobody can be sure of the 'ends' when the 'means' are being employed.

I am not asking you to believe what I say, or to adopt my philosophy, I would just like you to open your minds and think for yourselves. Your life on this Earth is brief, don't waste it striving for things you don't need and listening to self-serving people. Life is all about the journey, the destination is the same for us all.

Felines & Firemen

Firetruck

I remember hearing some strange stories about firemen but recollections were vague so I did a little research ........emphasis on 'a little'. A story I heard of was of a Fire Station burning down. There has been a surprising number. I dismissed the ones relating to arson because the firemen couldn't be responsible in any way. No good, only hopeless cases are allowed.....

We have to look to Germany of all places for supreme incompetence in the fire department (assume all puns are intended unless otherwise stated). This particular fire station (crew?) had history. The Syke Fire station in North Germany had burnt down in 1994 losing all six of its fire engines.

On January 11th 2009 the firemen of Syke had a training exercise. The station burnt to the ground a second time and fire-fighters from neighbouring cities were called in. It took nearly 250 firemen to extinguish the blaze, so large had it become. Due to the quick response of other fire stations only the vehicle bay and all of the fire fighting equipment was destroyed. The kitchen, offices, and lounges were saved.
"A fire service that can't even keep its own fire station and engines safe doesn't exactly inspire confidence" said one local.

The Lion King

One of my favourite stories comes from Italy and involves a lion. This story gives a whole new slant on lions and Christians in Italy. Lions are deemed the kings of the jungle but there was nothing regal about our lion. In 1970 a lion escaped from a circus in Italy. Inevitably the lion found a little boy and gave chase. Nothing wrong so far. The problem for our lion however was that the little boy's mother was on hand and attacked the unfortunate beast, badly mauling it in the process. The lion received severe head and skin injuries, and had to have treatment for shock!

So what is the connection between felines and firemen, I hear you ask.....

I remember as a kid we had three tv channels. One was ITV and they had their own news slot. ITN in their infinite wisdom decided at the end of every news broadcast they would use a little humour. They called this 'and finally....' Unfortunately some Brits lack a certain amount of humour when it comes to poor dumb animals.

My favourite 'and finally......' was perhaps the most least popular judging by the number of complaints received afterwards. Now, am I being cruel or was this genuinely funny?

During the firemen's strike of 1978 the British Army took over firefighting responsibilities. The bright red fire-trucks were replaced by the 'Green Goddesses' of the military. One of the first calls they received was on 14th January from an elderly lady whose cat was stuck up a tree.

The troops arrived in impressive time and effected the rescue without a problem. So impressed was the lady she made them all tea and biscuits. Fond farewells were bade and the Green Goddess promptly pulled away running over the cat and killing it.