Religion and Mythology

For almost all my life religion and mythology has been a part of my life or a major interest. I wanted to know what really happened, there had to be way. There isn't! There is however the means to get a best guess and for me that is as good as it will get, although I will never abandon the search..... just in case.

Whilst religion, or the lack of, is a very personal thing and I'm not a fan of those pushing their beliefs on others without physical evidence or at least an argument that is feasible, I believe it should be debated but we all know what happens then!

Here is my perception after much research and experience in a diverse and sometimes very loosely relevant range of subjects. I'm not asking you to believe it, I'm asking you to question it and point out inaccuracies. You are welcome to do so as long as you have something other than blind faith / disbelief to offer.

Agnostic

noun

a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God

adj.

(in a non-religious context) having a doubtful or non-committal attitude towards something

Bible

informal

a book regarded as authoritative in a particular sphere.

I needed a starting point, something historical. Adam and Eve and the Garden of Eden c.4600 BC? Noah and global flooding c.3000 BC? Abraham and migrations of the Levant c.2000 BC? Moses and the Exodus from Egypt c.1450 BC? Josiah author of the Pentateuch c.600 BC? Jesus and the Romans c.33 AD?

At a glance the most recent should be the easiest to get some verification but unfortunately there is nothing to prove the existence of Jesus apart from the biblical accounts. This is a common argument for those that question his existence and perfectly true, but that doesn't make it correct. I think it is highly likely Jesus was a historical character but that's for another post.

There is little doubt Josiah king of Judah (640-609 BC) existed and some sources accredit him with the actual compilation and writing of the Pentateuch. This is obviously disputed with others believing Moses himself wrote it, or anybody in between. Even though the existence of Josiah is commonly accepted by scholars, there is no actual proof of his existence either. Admittedly he was of a time when his region didn't keep many records. However, as a source for my area of research he is of little interest.

So what about Moses? Again we have the same problem as we have with Jesus, no proof. The same was to apply to Abraham, Noah and Adam and Eve. Okay, what about the historical events? 

With Jesus we know Herod (73-4 BC) was king of Judah, Pontius Pilate was prefect of Judea 26-36 AD. Crucifixion was a common punishment by the Romans. Jesus was only a carpenter's son albeit a rather troublesome one and was of little interest to the Romans. The problem was with the Jewish religious leaders who pretty much manipulated the weakness of Pilate (for which reason he was recalled to Rome). 

Would there be records of his crucifixion? Hardly headline news to the Romans, or the rest of the Levant in general, despite his growing reputation. Pilate could perhaps have been nervous about the crowds Jesus drew in but accounts suggest a man that didn't really want anything to do with it.

Adam and Eve are a complete waste of time save for the possible location of Eden (somewhere underwater in the Persian Gulf is my bet). That too has little bearing here though. Noah too is sketchy, although similar stories abound in many cultures. Utnapishtim in the Epic of Gilgamesh is thought by some to be Noah but it is more likely they were two different people with similar experiences. The flooding may have seemed global but it was probably extensively localised (oxymoron?).

Abraham starts to get interesting. Casting aside a lot of the superfluous information, and given the approximate date of his being, there is much historical evidence to suggest a character akin to Abraham  did exist. It gets even better with Moses. Archaeological evidence ties in with geological and historical clues. To reiterate, there is no hard evidence but Moses seemed a good place to start.

For ease of reading I have compiled my "Agnostic Bible 2.0" chronologically. The posts are scheduled every Sunday. 

Slava Ukraini

 

I'm not a fan of politicians, I never have been and most likely never will be.  For as much as I despise politicians, it pales into insignificance when compared to my loathing of dictators and despots. Putin, or Vlad the Dim Failure, has made it to the top of my shit-list. Let's be clear on this though, I have visited Russia a couple of times in a work capacity. This was back in 1981 when the USSR was still a thing. 

They do say first impressions are crucial to the perception and my first impressions weren't good at all. I was already well travelled by 1981 and had seen enough not to judge a country and its people by what I had heard or read in the papers. What I saw and experienced shocked me. I had an image of Russia (or the USSR) being one of the most advanced nations of the time. After all they had competed with the USA in the space race, they must be techno-smart.

The place I visited was admittedly a timber community in the White Sea, hardly Moscow or St. Petersburg and not even in the top 50 most populous cities of Russia. Oddly the population in 1981 was 392,000 and peaked in 1988 with around 415,000 before declining to its current population of 349,000. I'm not sure why this has happened. We arrived by ship, only possible for 8 months of the year, to load up with timber bound for St. Malo in France.

At first we didn't notice anything out of the ordinary but that changed very quickly. We had a dozen or so Russian workers on board assisting with the loading of cargo and quickly made friends with them. On breaks and lunch times we invited the Russian workers to eat and drink with us. They were very appreciative and we bonded with our hosts. Communication was quite difficult but I spoke German as did a couple of the Russians and we communicated adequately. They loved our food - and beer - and all was sweet but we soon became aware of the hardships they endured. Some were imparted to us, some we witnessed first hand. 

We were told that on average, six families - usually 3 generations - lived in a 3-storey building. We also made a mistake ordering roubles to spend ashore, you could get much more for your money if you paid in pounds sterling. In addition we would have gotten a much better exchange rate if we had changed our pounds on the Black Market, which probably made sense, but the revelation the Black Market was run by the police was an eye-opener.

One thing we did object to was the armed guard at the bottom of our gangway. Initially we felt sorry for the soldiers that stood at the bottom of our gangway for hours on end. The 'changing of the guard' was full of ceremony which seemed a bit OTT for a small cargo ship, and it wasn't long before our 'humour' got the best of us. For our shame we lobbed sporadic snowballs at the soldiers on guard but felt better about it when the Russian workers did the same.

What I saw in the town centre made me wish we had put rocks in the snowballs. An armed escort saw us accompanied to the 'Seaman's Mission' and we passed a number of obviously drunk soldiers picking on citizens and demanding papers. Their demeanour was of bully boys with bellies full of vodka and a belligerent arrogance. It was small wonder we had an armed escort or there would have undoubtedly been confrontations.

On the 20 minute walk we passed a number of shops with long queues outside the doors. Glancing into the shops, we noticed that all the shelves were bare. It all began to sink in. The Mission was unlike any other I had been to, we were constantly pestered by smiling people offering us free books. The smiles didn't reach their eyes and it was hard not to be rude. Being on ships pre-internet days, we did a lot of reading and happily accepted the books we were given - all written in English. However a quick perusal showed the books to be nothing more than state organised propaganda.

It wasn't even remotely believable and insulted the intelligence. A couple of paragraphs then an anti-west rant, it was so false and transparent it was laughable. How stupid did the authorities believe us to be? I wondered if the common Russian folk were fed similar propaganda, and if they were, did they believe it?

I also found out why Russians drink so much vodka. Everything else tastes like shit! The beer was disgusting, the sparkling wine was like carbonated water and the spirits - apart from vodka - tasted more like sickly cordials. The roubles we ordered, we couldn't spend and to add insult to injury we were told we had to hand them in before we left Russia and would be given a receipt whereby we could get them back on our next visit. I never gave mine back and kept them as souvenirs (I had quite a foreign currency collection at that point).

Now things probably improved after the break-up of the USSR, or so it seemed to me as a casual observer. Communism hadn't worked for reasons laid out by George Orwell in Animal Farm and Russia seemed to be adopting a more western approach, surely not such a bad thing. The problem was the fall of communism hadn't improved the corruption situation, it exacerbated it. The people hadn't benefitted from western values - except perhaps in Moscow and St. Petersburg - the oligarchs had. The people weren't given more truth and freedom, what little they had was taken away.

Putin and his cronies stole the wealth of the people whilst leaving them to rot. Much of Russia took a step backwards as 100+ billionaires took the cream. Of course this became more and more obvious to western eyes and with social media, it was being noticed at home too. Putin's paranoia grew exponentially, pretty soon he would be rumbled and held to account. His solution? Resurrect the USSR, steal more resources, shut down the media and blame the west for anything and everything.

The conclusion is that my initial impression of Russia was 100% correct! The authorities are corrupt, the soldiers are animals and the people are oppressed.

Ukraine is doing western Europe a huge service and no expense should be spared in supporting them in their fight for democracy and freedom from oppressors. A defeat for Ukraine would be a huge setback for democracy and a civilised world. Putin is selling this as a war against NATO and it is probably true in a sense, but it is a war of aggression started by Putin. NATO could - and probably should - wipe the floor with Russia but for real change, the Russian people need to wake up and smell the coffee.

Only Russians can change Russia and change is long overdue.

Got To Say It

Whether you believe it or not, I am trying to be as diplomatic as possible when addressing religion. The reason for this is because I respect the right of the individual to believe whatever they choose. I also believe the vast majority of religious folk are peace-loving and well meaning ......if a little misguided, in my opinion.

That's all very well, believe whatever you choose, I have some beliefs others may find hard to accept. My major concern is how evil people use religion to incite hate. They want something they can't get without support. I asked myself if I was unscrupulous and wanted money or power, what would be the best way to get it. There is good old-fashioned hard work and determination ........nah, takes too much time and effort.

The quickest way would be to take it off someone else. I could do the playground bully routine and pick on the weak, stealing their lunch money. This is just small fry though and will just get me enemies. Conning the gullible out of their cash should be easy enough but again I would be hated and the pickings slim. Support of others is crucial but how can I get that. Quite simple really, all the hard work is done for me.

I could use the race card but with so much interracial breeding this is becoming more difficult. Religion!! Of course, how dumb of me. Religion has no borders. This could still be a problem though, one or two have got there before me. Maybe I could be a television evangelist and tell people to send me money because my God is a bit strapped for cash at the minute. Bah, that would never work, people just aren't that stupid .....are they? Might be easier finding some other greedy arseholes that perhaps aren't that bright - don't want them challenging my authority - and we can go around rape, pillage, and looting. Not really my style but as long as I'm lining my pockets who cares what atrocities my thugs are committing.

Religion selection is difficult. I need a popular one but again others have pretty much cornered the market. Monotheist religions can be manipulated though, their messages barely resemble what the perceived prophets of God told them to do. It is easy to manipulate and twist ancient context into a modern misinterpretation. "Do not kill, rape, or steal; love* thy neighbour / fellow man, but if he's not your neighbour or doesn't believe the same as you it don't count, fuck** 'em"

*not 'love your fellow man' in a literal sense, that is a definite no-no, you'll burn in Hell or we'll throw you off a roof or chuck rocks at you
** as above

It's not difficult to fragment a religion, it's being going on ever since religion was invented. When I first started researching religions I was actually surprised to find the monotheists all had the same God, they just kill each other over bragging rights on who he loves best - or so it appears to me at least.

If I had to pick a religion it would probably be Buddhism but you can't kill anyone and where's the fun in that. Really I worship the very first God, well Goddess actually. The earliest known example of religious or idolatry 'worship' pre-dates even Adam and Eve. It also reinforces my belief Eve was first but that's for another post. This example is of course the 'Venus of Willendorf' as shown in the image. It was carved from limestone some 25,000 years ago. Nor was this unique. many such figurines have been found dating from the Paleolithic period.

It appears our ancestors worshipped the miracle of the creation of life and it pretty much became a trend. Of course we evolved from mere troglodytes living in peaceful communities, and then started killing each other. Hmm, maybe this is a religion I could adopt. Let me think, a natural religion worshipping the elements themselves rather than the control of them by some other force. It could work with some careful presentation, it was after all the first true form of religion after the misogynists quickly subjugated the women. Couldn't have them making decisions, they didn't know how to drink, fight, or fart.

Looking at other early attempts at forming some religious structure, the Babylonians' great Marduk and his predecessors seemed to like war, slavery and human sacrifice. Of course the Babylonians didn't like it, Marduk forbid. It was just the great earthquake God destroyed a temple and they weren't sure how they pissed him off. I can imagine the High Priest shrugging as he addressed the king.
"We tried offering gold, fatted calves and stuff but it didn't help so we lopped a few virgins' heads off, shit this guy is hard to please"

No I think I should move forward a little, I mean, who would put up with a religion that run around randomly slaughtering innocents and chopping heads off. It just couldn't happen in these civilised times. The ancient Greeks had a better handle on this polytheism but it might be hard to start my religion based on their practices. Their novel method of contraception gave them a lot of bad press although it seems to be making a comeback these days. Anyway too many Gods are a pain in the arse, how can we obey one without pissing another off, there's bound to be a conflict of interest somewhere.

That's probably why the Jews decided to listen to just one bloke and make him responsible for everything. It was fine for a long time but the bloody Romans came and brought their materialistic ways with them. I don't think I'd be able to branch out from Judaism somehow, I mean how could I sell it. Anyway Judaism only takes the first five books of the bible and then stopped listening after they killed Jesus ........once again, the way I see it. Then there is this habit of getting a bit chopped off your dick before you even know how long it's going to be. It might have been okay to prevent disease in lands where water and bathing is difficult but 'that was then, this is now' to quote a great 'man' who got nailed to a tree.

Then of course there is bacon, can't forget bacon. The reason behind this 'unclean' meat the way I see it - through my pragmatism tinted glasses - is that we humans are omnivores. Our teeth show us that. One thing we mustn't do though is eat carnivores, We shouldn't eat cats or dogs and the like, cows, sheep and the odd horse here and there (mostly in supermarket lasagnes). The pig of course is also an omnivore which makes it a bit of a grey area. Perhaps we should just eat it on certain days. Whatever, I don't see it as being a contentious religious point.

Judaism kept the 'eye for an eye' bit which could be handy but overall it's not for me and for a couple of reasons similar to those above, nor is Islam. Although they have the same boss as Judaism there was a bit of a split at the time of Abraham. You see Islam recognises Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses and Jesus as prophets or 'special' people, just as do Judaism and Christianity. It would be easy to be confused as to why three monotheist religions all with the same boss are killing each other, easy if you didn't know the truth.

The truth of course is nothing to do with representation of any God just gaining support in order to control territory, resources, and ultimately wealth. Exactly what I'm considering here but shh! So back to the issue in hand. Can I form a offshoot religion from Islam? The way Muslims split from the groups was attributed to God promising Abraham's heir land. Abraham had two sons. The first was Ishmael to an Egyptian servant girl, the second to his wife was Isaac, whom God famously asked Abraham to sacrifice before saying "Lol, just joking". This is why the Jews and Palestinians are perpetuating a 4,000 year old dispute that has always been the scene of hostility. Yeah, kind of weird how such a sacred place causes so much death and destruction. I think they should just toss a coin after all this time.

Islam is split, mainly into two groups, Sunni's and Shia's, but there are many other smaller spin-offs. The problem came when Mohammed died and in-house fighting broke out over a successor. Unfortunately for the Muslim world he never had any sons and the vote was split between two factions. On the one hand there was Abu Bakr, the chief advisor and father-in-law to Mohammed (Sunni). In the other corner there was the cousin Ali (Shia) who married one of Mohammed's daughters. Apparently Mohammed chose Ali as successor but the Muslim community voted for Abu Bakr, it's all a little shady and they have been fighting each other ever since.

Perhaps I should start a Christian spin-off instead. I was brought up Roman Catholic as were all of us that weren't pagans prior to the reign of a fat lecherous king with a penchant for beheading. Was is it with this decapitation lark, it must be pretty messy, people are sick. Anyway, yeah Henry VIII split us from the Catholic church because he wasn't allowed to get divorced and the Christian God didn't like polygamy. The big thing then became Catholic Ireland and the English Protestants in the North. Again religion was used but it was politics really.

It shows me that Christians aren't really Christian these days. In America they like guns and hate, I always saw Christians as sort of religious hippies. Hard to picture Jesus with an AR-15 somehow. The bullshit evangelists asking for money on television and their trigger-happy counterparts have ruined it really. If I started a Christian type religion to try and extort wealth and gain power, I'll end up a cult like the Moonies, or Westboro Baptists, or some other weirdos.

Hmm, this might be harder than I thought, I could use an advertising banner....

Well it's a start, just send your cheques, gold, or other valuables you should feel ashamed having and I promise I will find a way to dispose of them for you. May Poseidon moisten your loins.

Real Hero? Nah!

What is a hero? A coward that hadn't thought things through? A person who puts their life on the line to help others? For me it is a grey area. On two occasions I did what could be termed 'heroic' deeds but on analysis they were just the results of programming (training) and a reckless impulsiveness..... 

The crew were yet to show any cracks as the ship sailed through the Red Sea. A brief stop at Jeddah for bunkers was a welcome diversion from the routine. Paint, paint, paint! It was a waste of time, the ship was only held together with rust. The Persian Gulf was never a popular choice of destination for seamen but Joel didn't mind it. Okay on his last visit he seriously misjudged the weather and was shot at but otherwise it was quite boring.

His last visit had been on a super-tanker though. Going to the Gulf on a bulk carrier was to prove a lot different. For now Joel was blissfully ignorant. The sky blue waters of the Red Sea became a darker blue as the ship rounded the Arabian Peninsula into the Arabian Sea. It was as the ship neared the entrance to the Persian Gulf the fortunes changed.

The day had been like any other. The current from the Indian Ocean caused dwells but the 50,000 ton ship cut through the waves with ease. It was Friday and the seamen not on watch had two days to enjoy the weather. The 1st Mate had tried to get volunteers for overtime but was told where to go in no uncertain terms. Everybody knew (thought they knew) their time left on the ship was short, four ports in the Gulf then on to Singapore and home.

A party in the crew bar was organised and spirits were high. All but the watch keepers became horrendously drunk and were singing boisterously at 21:30 when there was a knock on the door. Everybody turned as the 1st Officer poked his head around the door somewhat furtively.
"I want all the deck crew out on deck immediately" he said and closed the door again.

He was just in time. A barrage of empty beer cans bounced off the door accompanied by an assortment of verbal insults. The 1st Officer must have waited outside the door because when nobody had moved after thirty seconds he opened it again.
"There's a ship on fire"

There were a lot of stories about merchant seamen being little more than animals and it was easy to see why. It took a special kind of mentality to be a seaman. When it was good it was out of this world. When it was bad it was pure hell. A couple of weeks of continuous bad weather and stormy seas, sleep deprivation, and sometimes fear, would all take their toll and it was little wonder some would go a little crazy when setting foot on terra firma. What most haters failed to mention was the high level of training required to be a seaman, something other countries are less concerned about.

The training paid off in this case. The ship's log noted that from the time the first man appeared on deck, to having a lifeboat crewed by six men headed towards the stricken ship, was one minute and forty-two seconds. Joel had been drunk as had the rest of the seamen but there was something sobering about a ship ablaze and hearts were in mouths.

In years to come Joel would oft relate the tale and 'hero' was even mentioned. Joel knew different, he wasn't a hero at all. A hero is someone who knows the dangers yet still acts in a certain way. Joel didn't have time to think. He had been trained what to do in an emergency and he was merely applying his knowledge as he had on the countless drills. It was only as the lifeboat let go from the ship Joel had time to think and it was then he assessed the situation. It didn't look good.

The ship had gotten as close as was safe. All the housing was ablaze on the other ship and it was situated where it would have been on an oil tanker. Oil tankers were of course common in the area and Joel feared the worst. If it exploded they would be engulfed in a fireball or ripped apart by metal fragments. That is if they managed to even get there.

It was slow progress through the choppy sea. A 50,000 ton ship might cut through the waves easily but a 32 foot life boat made hard work of it. The small boat pitched and rolled as it relentlessly headed towards the vessel. To be thrown out of the boat wouldn't be at all healthy in the shark-infested waters either. Then what would they find when they get there............

The progress was agonisingly slow. Lifeboats were never built for speed, more for stability and durability, something the seamen would be thankful for later on. The closer they were to the blazing ship the more apparent it became the vessel wasn't a tanker. It didn't necessarily mean it wouldn't explode but still a lot of fears were eased. Joel could see figures on the foc'sle waving frantically.

Pulling alongside, a huge cheer greeted the lifeboat and a pilot ladder was thrown over. One seaman stayed on board the lifeboat, the rest scrambled up the ladder. Joel could feel the heat on the side of his face as if standing too close to a bonfire. The ship was Turkish and none of the crew could speak English. There was a lot of gesticulating, the Turkish seamen wanting off the ship immediately. It was difficult to assess the situation .
"Deutsch sprechen, Deutsch sprechen!" one of the Turks kept repeating.
"Jah" said seeing the source of the statement.

Joel had never had to use his knowledge of the German language before other than to order a beer or food. He was rusty but with a little sign language thrown in Joel was able to gather what had happened. The fire was electrical and there was no air conditioning on the ship. As a result all the portholes were open and the fire spread causing the housing to be uninhabitable through smoke and flames after a minute and a half. It explained why the Turkish crew were all in their underwear at only 9:30pm. Two crew members never made it out of the accommodation and a third was lying on the deck. He had been on watch and lowered a rope over the bridge but the flames caught up with him and he had dropped ablaze from twenty feet onto steel.

The Turkish crew parted and the man could be seen laid out flat on the deck. Joel told the first officer the situation and they both went to look. The man looked like a huge blister and the smell of burnt flesh made Joel nauseous. He thought the man was dead but then his arm moved.
"Quick get the stretcher from the lifeboat" the officer told one of the other seamen.

Within seconds Joel wished he had been the one sent for the stretcher. The man seemed to regain consciousness and with it came pain. He let out a series of unearthly screams which went through Joel worse than chalk on a blackboard. Joel was in tears as he and the officer strapped the man into the stretcher. The straps had to be tightened but it seemed to add to the man's pain. He stopped screaming as he was being lowered into the boat, the merciful blackness from which he would never wake returned. The man died in hospital three days later.

The lifeboat was overcrowded so Joel and three others stayed behind. Joel wasn't scared anymore. The man's face was imprinted in his memory and the screams reverberated around inside his head. He felt too numb to be scared. The fire showed no signs of abating and the only means he had to get off the ship was getting smaller in the distance. Joel's own ship looked ludicrously far away. An explosion from within the burning housing had the four British seamen ducking for cover. It sounded like a gas cylinder but how many more were there, and was the explosion big enough to hole the ship?

Joel pulled out his cigarettes and handed them round.
"Anyone got a light?" Joel asked.

The seamen all looked at one another then at the housing. As though a pressure valve had been released they all began laughing heartily. To many it would seem like a sick thing to say at such a time but it was a coping mechanism and the seamen were glad of it, the grim reality was too hard to bear.