There are a lot of tricks our minds play on us from time to time and I have been dismissive of some tall tales on this basis. Pragmatism is a trait usually claimed by atheists, but sometimes you just have to accept the fact that there is indeed something going on. Over the course of my life I've had many strange experiences I can't explain, it really grates because they are exactly the things I would be sceptical about if I hadn't witnessed them myself.
However, my failure to understand some experiences, doesn't mean I will assume they are caused by anything supernatural. I do have my own hypotheses as no doubt most of you are aware by now, but that's all they are, hypotheses, speculation, conjecture. There is a huge void between science and religion, it is a divide that seemingly can never be bridged, yet when they're loosely tied together things make a lot more sense.
There is no doubt in my mind hominids on this planet have undergone a process. Science will deny it and religion will attribute their own ideas on how this was achieved and by whom. The key is the difference between homo sapiens sapiens and homo sapiens neanderthalis. The overlap of the species would be consistent with an evolutionary process but the flaw is the difference in brain size and operation. Archaeologists search fruitlessly for a 'missing link' that simply doesn't exist.
If we look at what can be achieved today with cloning and genetic manipulation, our capabilities are already at a level required to 'adjust' a species. I have covered this topic many times in different posts so I won't dwell on it here. Suffice to say, in our primitive past we were genetically modified. In terms of religion, this would indeed suggest a 'creator' of sorts, an outside source. Alien theorists will be doing cartwheels with this 'admission' but sadly, they too stray from my perception of exactly what happened. Science will of course dismiss the theory simply because they cannot explain interstellar travel.
My pragmatism is not quite true to the dictionary definition. I discussed this in Visceral Pragmatism but in effect it brought me back to these weird experiences. Instead of telling you what I think is going on by trying to explain them, I'll just give you the facts - without embellishment - and as I try to encourage on this blog, I'll let you make up your own mind. What you are about to read is the truth just as it happened.
I was out with friends when I came off my bike at speed and hit my head on a wooden post. I was unconscious no more than a few seconds as I remember seeing my friends running towards me. Everything was upside down. The only visible injury I had was a small trickle of blood from my ear and my friends thought I was messing about as I rolled around trying to stand up. I found if I closed my eyes I could stand up but when I opened them I fell over again.
My friends fetched someone from a nearby house and I was taken to hospital. I was conscious all the way and remembered being put in a wheelchair just outside the hospital. As the doors opened a blinding white flash 'exploded' from them, then it all went black.
It was still dark and I was lying down, I heard muffled voices around me and was aware of being touched but couldn't feel it. I felt amused at the people fussing around me and suddenly I was looking down at myself from the ceiling in a corner of the room. Watching with interest the doctors administering CPR, I could 'feel' my chest being depressed even though I was no longer in my body. The amused feeling never left me and in my head I sang softly, mocking the doctors "I'm not there anymore".
The door below my vantage point swung open and I swished down from the ceiling in a fluid motion. I was out the door and sweeping down the corridor just above head height. Two more doors swung open as people passed through and I was out of the hospital. My body was back at the hospital and I felt as though I was just a face, or a brain maybe. Feeling an urge to go home, the three miles from the hospital took just a matter of seconds but I remembered it all. I was going down the main route a few feet above the street lamps. At my house I hovered outside my bedroom window and was suddenly indecisive.
Instinctively I looked back and in an instant was back at the hospital once again looking down at my body. Then it all went black and I remember no more. Three days later I woke up and sometime later when I told my mother of the 'dream', she told I had actually died for 37* seconds. Both my parents confirmed I had clinically died but it was my mother who said 37 seconds and I only have her word for that, I never spoke of the incident with my father.
Now there are a number of things about this that are strange but inconclusive. Was it a dream? That was my first thought. Unconscious awareness would maybe explain inside the hospital. The fact I died and 'dreamt' about the 'transition' is also inconclusive, as I could have dreamt it whilst in a coma after having been revived.
It was soon I started having premonitions in dreams and seeing weird things when awake. The dreams were strange and still happen infrequently today, the last 'fulfilment' was just a year ago.
I didn't see the dreams as anything weird as a kid and just put them down to coincidence. It was like deja vu. The feeling of having experienced in the past what was currently being payed out in real time. Is that what deja vu is? Subconscious memories of prophetic dreams? Of all the weirdness I have been subjected to, these dreams confound me. I like to find a rational, or at least plausible explanation for things, but I could see no way how a visualisation of future events was possible. It remains an enigma. Neither can I dismiss it as a trick of the mind.
In the main the dreams were insignificant or I might have picked up on them sooner. I'd dream I was somewhere with someone then months, or in some cases years later, I would find myself in that place with that person whom I may never have met before. I could describe what was in the next room or say what was about to happen. Until a few years ago I did actually dismiss the dreams as tricks of the mind. The feeling of deja vu was strong but recollections of the dream hazy and uncertain.
Over the years the number of dreams mounted up and some were becoming more noticeable. They were noticeable in that I recognised which were premonitions and which were just my subconscious at work. The 'hammer-blow' or clincher, was this most recent fulfilment. I had the dream two or three years before but this time I remembered every detail.
I was being shown around a large warehouse by a prospective client, it looked oddly familiar even though I had never been in the building before. When we entered another area where people were working I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I had definitely been there before, in my mind at least. A worker whose face looked familiar asked us to wait a moment whilst something was being moved and details of the dream started flooding back. Off to one side about 20 yards away a forklift truck carrying a pallet of loose boxes was approaching. He was moving slowly and steadily so there was no reason to think anything would happen.
"That forklift is going to stop suddenly and the whole front line of boxes will fall off" I said to the person who was showing me around.
We looked towards the forklift and for some reason (I couldn't see the cause) the driver hit the brakes hard. Even though he wasn't moving fast the abrupt halt caused the whole front stack of boxes to spill onto the floor just as I said. Maybe if someone else had said it I might have explained it away as a lucky guess, but I knew it wasn't guess-work. The person I was with looked really freaked out but didn't say anything. I kept silent about the fact I knew where we were going next and could describe the room in detail.
Since then I take careful note of any dreams I have, just in case. I believe we can get indicators or clues to future events and many see dreams as prophetic. In those cases though the dreams are symbolic and in need of interpretation, what I saw was the actual event.
When explaining about my dreams, the thing I didn't mention was the nightmares. I'm not even sure how long after the accident they started - I was confined to bed for three months and unable to leave the house for six - but remember them as being frequent in my early teens. Some bad stuff happened around the time so I suppose the nightmares were to be expected, but there was one that always came back. It was a shadowy figure in fog, stalking me. No more than a silhouette similar to the picture above. I felt uncomfortable more than scared though, a cold clammy foreboding. It was soon after I started seeing things but that's for another post.
The bang on the head undoubtedly damaged areas of my brain and altered my thought processes but what else? Perhaps it allowed access to other areas of my brain, lose one sense and others become heightened.
Could it be my brief passing made me more sensitive to 'energies'? Although I really don't know the answers, I have enough about me to know there is a hell of a lot science has yet to discover. I believe the problem is there to be solved but like a jigsaw puzzle all the pieces need to be put together.